DUTCH GIRL




Friday night at home alone

2003-07-26 - 2:27 a.m.

4:30pm - Head home from gym. Decide that, since all your friends seem to be busy, and you have the house to yourself, maybe it's time to spend a FRIDAY NIGHT AT HOME ALONE.

5:00pm - Arrive home from the gym, sit on the sofa, all sweaty and tired, eventually take nap on sofa.

6:15pm - Wake up, smoke cigarette, check cell phone and head downstairs to write in diary and check email.

7:00pm - Answer phone calls from mother and hubby, neither of whom you want to talk to right now.

8:00pm - Check cell phone again. Make wonderful dinner for one, consisting of fish cakes and spagetti with alfredo sauce. Have long debate with self about the merits of ketchup vs. tartar sauce on fish cakes. Vaguely wonder why no one has called you and you seem to have no friends.

8:30pm - Change into comfy sweat pants and t-shirt. Decide that it's really okay that you're a loser and have no friends and pop a movie into the DVD player.

9:00pm - Check cell phone again and decide to turn it off, accepting that he really isn't going to call you tonight. Settle in to enjoy the movie.

10:45pm - Friends call from the bar, inviting you out for a drink. Pretend to think it over, while leaping to your feet and heading to the bedroom to change.

11:00pm - Just as you're heading out the door, turn cell phone on and discover you've missed a call - someone who hasn't left a message.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

2:30am -

Who was I kidding, anyhow? The idea of the big "FRIDAY NIGHT AT HOME ALONE" is really just a way to justify feeling like no-one loves me anymore. Sad as that is to say. I really do feel like I should be able to enjoy a whole evening with my own company without feeling like I've been deserted, but I guess I'm not up to it these days.

In reality, I was very glad for the phone call and that chance to join friends for a couple of drinks. And it reminded me that I have great friends and they totally rock!

It was Shari and Trev that called me, and just the two of them when I arrived, but within an hour, there were six of us, and I sat there being reminded just how lucky I actually am. These people are great. LLB came in, giving me the warmest hug and I thought about what a great gal she is and how lucky I am to have her as both a friend and a co-worker. She's listened to an enormous amount of my crap lately and always checks in to see how I'm doing and to give me some love.

And as we did our obligatory teqilla shots off the bartender, I thought to myself:

"How many people can say they have these kind of friends and this great place to go, where you can drink tequilla shots off the belly of the cutest bartender, who's always smiling and willing to serve you drinks until 6 in the morning? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and count your damned blessings!"

Of course, the damned bar in closing on Tuesday and won't re-open until the end of August, so where the hell are we all going to go for the next month?

But that really doesn't matter, because I alway have places to go and friends to hang out with, even if he doesn't call me. So there!

Vorig - Daarna

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