In the wonderful word of Lyle Lovett (did anyone else see Live By Request tonight) "If I had a boat, I'd go out on the ocean, and if I had a pony, I'd ride him on my boat"....

So I kinda lost my nut today. Okay, I totally lost it. I was standing in the box office, all red in the face, screaming at Shannon (who was NOT the object of my ire, rather the lighting rod for it).

She told me about a conversation she had on Saturday with Grant's wife, about how she (the wife) thought I maybe didn't care about doing her play, which I'm directing in January.

About an hour later, there was a call from Grant on my answering machine, saying that maybe he should direct her show, which I had offered to him in September and she had totally refused to entertain the thought of.

This all comes on the heals of a lot of other crap they have been saying about me, both professionally and personally. And the galling thing is, Grant is one of my oldest friends and my first serious boyfriend, and it's been bugging me no end that they've been talking about me behind my back and saying crappy things (Grant is the one who verbally jumped on me in the bar a few weeks ago and made me cry).

I composed an email to the two of them and showed it to Shanny, who rightly told me that it was too defensive and angry and I shouldn't send it, which was when I lost my mind. I was standing there yelling at her "Who do they think they are? How do they think they can get away with saying these things about me and not knowing they will get back to me", etc., etc.

What bugged me the most was the idea that she thought she could bitch about me to Shanny and then ask Shanny not to say anything and think I wasn't going to hear about it. How dumb are people, anyhow?

After I calmed down a little, I rewrote the email to be more professional and to the point. I didn't intend to send it until tomorrow, so that I could sleep on what I wanted to say, but accidently sent it anyway. Oh well. I didn't say anything that I don't stand behind. And, thanks to Shannon, it wasn't the vitriolic missive I had originally penned.

After all that, we needed to go for a few drinks after work and I had 5 double vodkas and now my head hurts.

Sometimes I hate people and just wish I was out on that boat with that pony.