New Year's Eve was fun, but low-key. One of the more low-key evenings in memory. I was invited to a couple of parties, both big and small, but just didn't feel like doing the party thing this year. Actually, by about 5pm, I wasn't sure I felt like doing anything at all. I had the house all to myself (T was playing a New Year's gig with his band out of town) and the cold was still working it's magic on me and as I sat on the couch in my pjs, watching DVDs and knitting, I thought "gee, maybe I could just spend New Year's Eve like this, by myself", but I had promised Jessie I'd come by the bar, as he was worried that if it got busy he wouldn't have enough staff and he could use my help bartending, so I dragged myself off the couch, showered, dressed and applied make-up and off I went.

As it turned out, the bar was anything but busy. I think there were about 20 people there in all at midnight. But it was nice. B came down, so I got to see the beginning of 2004 with one of my favorite people. We consummed a bunch of champagne and I was on my way home by 1am. That may be the earliest I've ever left a New Year's celebration in my life.

Yesterday was spend in pjs all day (thank god I have about a dozen pairs, and I'm starting to think it's the only way to dress, especially when it's brutally cold outside), watching the Clean Sweep marathon on TLC (which made me want to start throwing crap out). I got off my ass about 5pm and cooked a pork roast for dinner, and then back on the couch again to watch Gangs of New York and Hollywood Homicide.

The only dark spot on a lovely New Year's Day was discovering when T got home that he had been run into on New Year's Eve after leaving his gig to drive to the hotel. Some drunken yob ran a red light and plowed into the car, sending him into another car while he (the yob) then smashed into a parked new VW and then managed to somehow take off. Thank god some kind citizen who witnessed the whole thing got his liscence plate. And thank god even more that T wasn't hurt, although his car is fucked. I guess we'll be buying a new car this January.

Anyhow, I had time yesterday to think about 2003. I don't think I'll repeat that year again any time soon, although I can't say it was all bad or anything. Just a year of lots of personal change, some good, some painful.

I lost 50 pounds, which was good, although it started a chain reaction of some other shit, like seeing myself as possibly attractive for the first time in a few years, which got me started looking at my marriage and my sex life, which, well, I won't go into the rest of that now.

I made some fabulous new friends, Shanny first and foremost among them.

I finally figured out and somewhat resolved a long time relationship with B. Moved it to a new place, I guess, that is much better for both of us. Let go of a few things.

I learned to knit and started taking drum lessons. I started working out on a regular basis for the first time in my life, and actually enjoying it.

I began looking at my job in a whole new way and have started asking myself tough questions about what I'm doing and how happy I am doing it and what I may mant to, or need to, change in the not-too-distant future.

So, what do I want for 2004?

I want to try to keep things a little simpler. However you do that. Hmmm ... I'll have to think on that more.

I want to continue on to lose the next 25 pounds and not let myself backslide.

I want to keep up with the exercise.

I want to practice the drums at least 3 times a week.

I want to not buy any more new books until I've finished the HUGE pile of new books on my bookcase.

I want to try to be just a little bit more responsible with money. Never try to make these things ridiculously impossible to acheive, like saying "I'm going to be good with money and save lots and pay off all my credit cards". Let's just try for "I'm going to try to work down my biggest credit card and not put anything new on it until I've done that". That sounds do-able. Right?

I want to deal better with the difficult people at work. Not be so afraid of confrontation. Stand up for myself a little more.

That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there's lots more. It's funny to remind yourself that you don't have to restrict resolutions about what you want to do to improve yourself to New Year's. You can really throw them out there any old time you want.

Happy beginning of 2004 to all my d-land friends. and thanks for all the Happy Birthday wishes from everyone.