Thank God, my non-materialist moment of insanity yesterday was just that - a moment of insanity. I ended up having no problem shopping with my dad. We went to the yarn store, where he bought me $125 worth of yarn, including a skein of this beautiful Italian Velvet that I am going to make a most lovely scarf from. Then we hopped on over to the mall and he took me to L'Occitane (do you all know this heavenly store) where I got fabulous olive oil shampoo and conditioner, plus a bee pollen and honey facial mask for sensative skin. And then the bookstore, where I got two new books which are now added to the pile of about 50 books that I intend to read sometime this century, but I just love buying books. So, shopping was okay after all and there are no aliens in my body. Phew.

I feel kind of shallow writing about my shopping adventures when I've been reading about the train crash in spain, and others diaries about friends in pain and trouble.

There's just so much of that in the world and I guess I often try not to think too much about all the pain and strife and just-plain-ugliness of the world, for fear I'll go mad, or just not want to live in it anymore. I think it's part of why I've felt a lot like hibernating this week.

I had a lovely email yesterday from my friend who's husband (mu ex-boss) was brain injured in that awful car crash in Santa Monica last summer. It made me feel good, so I'm going to copy it in here:

"Dear friends,

We are saddened to have the death of Spalding Gray confirmed. We'd kind of been hoping against hope that he'd simply gone away somewhere to gather himself although, given the past few years, it did not seem likely.

Once again, B --- and I shared our thoughts. I've been struck by (perhaps even obsessing over) the similarities between the experience of B --- and Spalding - of similar age, both highly intelligent, artistic, emotional yet analytical, resistant to conventional domesticity yet craving it at the same time. And, in terms of recent experience, having suffered a traumatic injury affecting both life and art.

"But I'm different," B --- said. "I know," I agreed, "you're more optimistic, you just don't see the same problems." "Oh, I see them," B--- said very firmly, "but they don't make me want to die. I want to fix them, make life better. For my friends and my family."

It may be simplistic but I'm with B ----.

Love to you all from us both,M ---- "

Right on B ---. That's how I chose to see the world, too.