Nobody ever leaves me g-book entries any more (sigh).

Sorry, I'm just feeling sorry for myself today.

It was kind of a rough weekend and it's going to be another rough couple of days before I get to slow down.

I stayed out too late Thursday and Friday nights, so I was wiped on Saturday. There was a closing night party for the final show that evening, but my plan was to ditch the party and head home early for some serious sleeping. We watched the hockey game Saturday afternoon, I had a couple of beers and ended up on my way home by 8:30, which isn't bad. (Oh yeah, this also included me having to be here at work until 7pm to supervise a workshop, but I got to spend some of that time next door in the pub, watching the game.) The evening ended with burgers and a milkshake and then off to bed by 11:00. So far so good.

2:00am. I wake up with a pounding headache, heartburn like crazy, and a head full of all the things I have to do by the end of June. As I lie there feeling like crap, the voices get louder and faster in my head. I have to hire a new General Manager and a contract accountant. I have to finalize the budget. I have to choose a season and get the info to the designers and the printers for a launch on June 16th. I have to get the renovations to the interior of the theatre rolling and ready to be started by June 8th. I have to go to Regina for a week in mid-may and Winnipeg for a week at the beginning of June. I've agreed to direct TAMING OF THE SHREW which will require me to be in rehearsals half day throughout all of June. OH MY GOD! I CAN'T POSSIBLY DO ALL OF THIS. IT'S ALL GOING TO COLLAPSE AROUND ME LIKE A CHEAP TENT!

By 3:00am, I'm in the middle of a full on panic attack. Heart pounding. Shaking. Sick to my stomach. T finally wakes up about 3:30, awakened by my rolling around and shaking and sighing and sitting up and laying back down. He talks me through all of it, helps me make some rational decisions about what to do about all of it, and I'm finally able to go back to sleep at about 4:30. Only to get up at 8:00 to be at work for 9:00. Where I had to stay until 7:00 at night.

I got a better night's sleep last night, but I've had to be here from 10am to 5:00pm, followed by working as a volunteer at the fundraising casino from 6 until 2am. And tomorrow I have a big important "Arts and Business" lunch where I have to entertain several of our sponsors, followed by working from 2pm until 10pm.

Do I sound like I'm whining? Because I am. I know I am. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole thing right now.

I soooo need a vacation.