I almost did it tonight.

I was driving home and I became obsessed with the desire to just keep on driving. Though Ramsey, onto Macleod Trail, onto the highway and ... where would that lead.

I felt the engine of my new car rev under my foot. And I thought "I really could do it". I could be in Montana by morning. I could take $300 out of my bank account at midnight, and another $300 at dawn, and pay for a motel room with my company credit card, and be so far away from here before anyone noticed.

I really thought about doing it. I could have been lost in the American heartland, just another lost soul looking for a dead-end job, long before anyone ever noticed I was gone. It pulled me. And I fought it, and turned away from it, to drive home. Because I have a life. Because I am responsible. Because people would be hurt.

The thing that pulled me back is a weight around my neck that's drowning me. One day I'm going to put my foot to the metal and drive out from under that weight. Don't be suprised.