My step-sister sent this beautiful email to my mother the other day. We all always think a lot about my brother during the month of August. She just put it really beautifully.

Hello - - - - ,

I hope you are having a wonderful and life-affirming day today :)

Things are going along well here... Aiden is busy learning and growing. I can hardly believe his first birthday is next month.

I was so sad this morning but it wasn't until I was driving Aiden in to daycare that I remembered the date today and understood why. For some reason, there are years when the 11th (the day of the accident) is a harder day for me than the 24th (the day he died). I remember someone telling me how Mark sang songs to distract himself while he was waiting for the helicoptor. It makes me so sad to think how difficult that must have been for him.

I'm really sorry - I don't want to bring anything negative up for you today (or ever!) but I'm sitting here at my desk with tears rolling down my face remembering Mark and wishing (again) for so many things that can't happen. Most of all, I wish that Brodie, Tadashi and Aiden (his nephews) would get to meet him. I don't think we ever told you, but Mike and I talked about naming Aiden after Mark. Ultimately I felt that it was more important for Carolyn to be able to choose his name if she wanted, so we didn't, but I was really happy that both Brodie and Tadashi have a bit of Mark's name in their own. I think it's a wonderful legacy for your son that he inspired all of us to want our sons to have a little bit of Mark in them.

I suspect that having my own son now is one of the things that is making this year's anniversaries a little harder than last year or the year before. I've always seen and understood at least some part of how difficult his death was/is for you, but my perspective now, as a mother, has brought a new dimension to my empathy for you.

I don't have anything new to say ... I just felt the need to reach out to you to let you know how I feel.

I also need to say thank you for being a part of my life and for making Mark a part of my life too. He really did make my life richer and more wonderful for having been in it. If he hadn't, it wouldn't hurt any more, would it?

Again, I hope you are having a wonderful and life affirming day. That you are remembering joyful times in your life and that you get the chance, today, tomorrow, as many days as possible, to spend lots of time with the people you love, and with Brodie especially. Babies are the most life-affirming little beings we can be around!

love and hugs,

D.