I must be getting my period - I feel even more fat and bloated than usual. I swear the waistband of my jeans is cutting off circulation to my lower extremities.

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I have to present this stupid award at the awards show on Monday night to this company that I'm not so very fond of. I have to present the award along with an alderman. Ialso have to write the stupid speech for presentation and send it to the alderman by tomorrow morning for "appoval". And I haven't a clue what to say.

"We're delighted you guys built a new theatre. So sorry about the great big deficit you're about to post. Hope you're not closed in a year. Here you go" ????

I don't think that'll cut it.

I hate writing shit like this and always put it off to the last minute, when I come up with something to say out of dire necessity. Which it's going to be in about half an hour.

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My office is right beside the bathroom and we have this god-awful bathroom freshener spray that everyone uses every time they're in their for more than 30 seconds and it's going to drive me out of my mind before long. Nothing like the pleasant smell of crap and crappy air-freshener mixed together. I know, TMI, but welcome to my world.

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Michelle and I are taking a board member and a sponsor out to dinner tonight. I feel about as much like doing that as I feel like poking sharp sticks in my eyes right at the moment. Especially with the bloated too-tight jeans issue going.

Aren't I just Mary-Friggin'-Sunshine this afternoon?