DUTCH GIRL




She's up, she's down, she's all around.

2004-10-11 - 11:03 p.m.

Last night I was overwhelmed by depression. Big crying jag. Late night sniffly phone calls. The whole nine yards.

This morning, I didn't want to deal with other people. Took a book to rehearsal so I could read when I didn't have to actually direct.

This evening, I feel so much better. A great run of the play, which opens tomorrow. Drinks after rehearsal with R, who made me feel so much better about myself. Without us even talking about any of it.

I have a lot of complaints about him sometimes, but when he's connected to me, he's connected to me. When we're talking, he makes me feel like I'm the only one in the room. It's actually becoming easier to get that fix and then let him go home for the evening. I drove him home tonight at 10pm, to Claire, no bad feelings.

Life is complicated. We're all riddled with mistakes. bad choices, things that set us off, pain. Our fears and insecurities dominate us. But when you find people that lift you up from that, even for a moment, you should hang on to them. And not fixate on all the things that they can't fix for you, or about you.

That's my wisdom for tonight, such as it is. And now ... bed. Sleep well.

Vorig - Daarna

Layout by Neko.