Hmmm ... let's see.

I should really update more often, but my schedule has been thrown off by the "being fired" scenario, and I'm still working on learning a new one.

Speaking of which, I received 2 lovely emails tonight, the first one from a friend, and writer, who lives all the way across the country in NFLD (Shanny, think "Butler's Marsh).

This is what he said:

"hi j,
�
just by coincidence i went looking for your email at $%$#$@ website the other day and learned the news. a couple of days later i chatted with dennis and he filled me in and gave me your email.
�
i am shocked, angered,�and truly saddened by what i heard. i guess i just wanted to write and tell you that, and to thank you for your support of my work as well as�the pleasure of working with you.�i am thinking of you often these days. do take care, and if you want to drop me a line please don't hesitate.
�
all the best�to�you my dear,
xo"

In between bouts of sadness, this kind of support does make my heart feel a little better. Especially from some one I respect like I do this fellow.

The other email I'll include at the end of this entry.

Let's see ... in other news, today was my anniversary. I worked on festival shit all day today, and then T took me out for dinner before his gig. Much pasta was consummed. Yum. He went off to play at the Casino and Shari and Trev and I popped down for a little while to see him play, and I strayed out to the casino floor and won $70 at the nickle slots, which was tres fun.

Monday night, I went out with Shanny, we caught up and had a good girl chat/bitch session, which ended with her going off to work out shit with the bushman and me staying at the theatre bar until 7am, talking to R. I think I'm getting a little sick of the pattern of this relationship. I worry that we have nothing left but late night beery conversation that gets us nowhere. He once again lectured me on how I should be friends with Claire, to make his life easier, and why he and I aren't "together" and it's all the same fucking thing and I don't like it anymore. I'll have to think on what's to be done about that.

Anyhow, life seems to be ticking alone okay, despite the worry about finances and career changes and all the rest. And the complicated relationships that seem to make up my life. It's just my lot, I guess.

The second email I got tonight was from my mother. Speaking of complicated relationships. But it made me feel good. When she's not the biggest pain in the ass of my life, she's also a great friend and I wish our life together could always be like this. Why are mothers so damned difficult, at least for some of us?

"Hi J -

Never sure what's the best way to reach you these days.� Hope you're checking home email regularly.

Just wanted to thank you for the YaYa Sisterhood book.� I've just finished it (better late than never but I don't have much reading time these days) and enjoyed it tremendously. I was crying at the end.� You know, the two best books I've read in recent years you gave me - this one and the quartet one - can't remember the title at the moment.� Looking forward to a visit on Friday or Saturday.

Thanks again.

Love, Mom"

Why can't it always be like that?

Oh yeah, and the cold is almost gone. Now I just have this racking cough that makes me sound like I have TB. �