Entry #2 today (see, I knew I'd be back):

I just got off the phone with my sister, after an hour and a half long conversation. My sister is the sane one in the family, the one I can talk to. We were talking about the email my mother sent me this morning. The one that goes "I never talk to you any more. I'm worried about you. Why don't you love me any more?" or words to that affect. It seems my family has been talking. My mother gets all stressed out because she hasn't spoken to me in 3 weeks, and she was upset that I didn't come for Thanksgiving (I HAD TO WORK, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. WHY DON'T THEY GET THAT??) and she talked to my step-mom, who talked to my Dad, who grumbled in his usual quiet way about how he hasn't talked to me either and I still haven't made good on my promise for some sort of belated birthday party for him. So my mom phoned me on Sunday evening. I was, of course, snarfing down a quick dinner before I had to go in to work (final dress rehearsal), and she made me feel guilty because my life is too busy and I neglect my family, so I snapped at her a bit. Which of course prompted her to to call my poor little sister to cry on the phone for an hour about what a bad mom she is because I obviously don't love her (in her version, she should have stayed together with my dad all those years ago when I was twelve and I'd love her more now and be a better daughter. Whatever.) and then she drafted the email which she read to my sister, who thankfully edited out all the parts that were totally "My life is soooo hard, no one understands me", but which still totally pissed me off when I got it. I did manage to write her back what I think (hope) was a kind and loving email, apologizing for my neglect and trying to explain to her why my life seems so busy (because it is, I run a professional not-for-profit theatre company, for god's sake) and why she didn't need to worry about me. And then I talked to my sister, which was good. She's pretty good at putting things in perspective, understanding my point of view but also giving me theirs. I guess becoming a mom makes you damned smart sometimes. Anyhow, now I'm having one of those afternoons where I'm like "Why do we have to have families at all? They're just there to drive us all crazy. It's not like we picked these people by choice. They were just foisted onto us when we were little and helpless." I guess in the bigger picture, mine aren't any worse than anyone elses. But fuck .....