Why does my life have to feel so much like an ill-fitting suit? You know - way to big in some places and uncomfortably tight in other places. And most definitely in a colour that's unbecoming on me.

T and I went to a staff party at my Business Manager's house this evening. Yet another trip way, way out in the suburbs. There are cows at the end of the block she lives on, for god's sake! I kept trying to imagine why anyone would want to live out there, and what their lives must be like. I can't see myself ever doing it.

The actual party was okay. There were about a dozen people there and we ate a lot of food and told funny stories. I didn't mind it all that much, although I just can't help feeling like I don't fit in all the time. For that matter, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere right now.

I told Shanny today that I don't know if I really want to renew my contract at work next year. I've been there way too long and I don't feel up to it any more. I don't know what I would do if I left, but maybe it really is time for some changes.

Maybe it's time for a new suit.